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Jared's Side Project

Happy Ways to Hate

Track Listing

1. Drunken Rambling (Punk Style)
2. Go Away
3. AHHH!
4. Blowjob (Batman Theme)
5. Happy Hate
6. Roxanne (Cover)
7. Bob Song
8. School
9. Senile Grandpa
10. Shit-ass Car
11. This Class Sucks
12. My Girlfriend
13. Slip
14. Mom
15. Not A Whore Anymore
16. Road Trip
17. Hide
18. She's Ugly
19. Who Doesn't like Porn?
20. Dad
21. S.C.A.P (Slow Children at Play)
22. I Will Never Die
23. Killing Time
24. The Drinking Song
25. Emergency
26. Bored
27. He's So Annoying
28. Lazy Time
29. Freaking Out
30. Flying High
31. You Are Annoying, Dumb, Stupid And Ugly

Lyrics

1. Drunken Ramblings (Punk Style)
Music by Jared Chambers

I'm so scared
I had to much to drink
I've reached the brink
And my breath is begining to stink

There is a man chasing me
His little man is scaring me
I jumped the fence and fell on my ass
They just ran through the fence

All they had to do is pee
Now they aren't happy
The man would have never bet
Now everything has been set

All of the porn
Our parents would scorn
Wishing we weren't born
We all suck ass

We've always been bad
And we are so glad
I might even tell my dad
Of all the fun we have had

You should try to drink and drive
You wouldn't stay alive
Unless you were high
And then you might not die

2. Go Away
Music by Jared Chambers

There is a class
That I sit next to an anss
She talks all the time
Tells me she is doing just fine

I just pretend to listen
As my eyes begin to glisten
I dream about fishin'
Or I think about pissin'

I don't really care
Because she is annoying
She looks like Daria
How is Jane doing?

3. AHHH!
Music by Jared Chambers

All I think is about is skiing and you
There is nothing that I can do
There won't be any snow
Right when I really want to go

Longing to go down the hill
Just so I can make a great spill
Oh I just might kill
If I'm not fulfilled

I can't wait for the day
When I can sit on the lift
It would be such a gift
To go skiing right now

If I don't get better hygiene
I'll get some sort of disease
Or I just my get fleas
Because I sleep with my skis

4. Blowjob (Batman Theme)
Music by whoever wrote the Batman Theme

Blowjob!

Blowjob!

5. Happy Hate
Music by Jared Chambers

I hate
I hate you
I hate you to say
I hate you to say
And you did not obey

You get on my nerves
I hope you die
Get away from me
And go burn in hell

Please shutup
Please shutup when I'm talking to you
Please shutup
Please shutup when I'm talking to you

Die! Die!
I hate you!
You are evil!
I am evil!
DIE!

6. Roxanne
Music by The Police

Roxanne
You don't have to put on the red light
Those days are over
You don't have to sell your body to the night

Roxanne
You don't have to wear that dress tonight
Walk the streets for money
You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right

Roxanne
You don't have to put on the red light
Roxanne
You don't have to put on the red light

Roxanne (Put on the red light)
Roxanne (Put on the red light)
Roxanne (Put on the red light)
Roxanne (Put on the red light)
Roxanne (Put on the red light)
Roxanne

I loved you since I knew you
I wouldn't talk down to you
I have you to tell just how I feel
I won't share you with another boy

I know my mind is made up
So put away your make up
Told you once I won't tell you again
It's a bad way

Roxanne
You don't have to put on the red light
Roxanne
You don't have to put on the red light

Roxanne (Put on the red light)
Roxanne (Put on the red light)
Roxanne (Put on the red light)

7. Bob Song
Music by Jared Chambers

My name is Bob
I don't have a girlfriend
And I know why
I smell like shit

Because I live in a box
I don't have a shower
Also I don't have soap
And that's why I smell

My name is Bob
I smoke lots of pot
Actually I really don't
Because I'm poor

But I like girls
Lots and lots of girls
They runaway from me
Because I scare them

My name is Bob
I look like a dog
I sleep in your yard
And eat your dog's food

My song is dumb
But it's rather fun
Now I think I'm done
Ya I'm really done

8. School
Music by Jared Chambers

Everyday I wake up at eight
Not wanting to go to school
I already know my fate
I'm going to be really cool

Ignore all the people
And all thier problems
They know I'm different
Because I don't belong at school

I go to class everyday
It's just my way
I don't really care
Life will never be fair

My dad is always on my case
My mom is always in my face
I just don't like school
And I will always be cool

9. Senile Grandpa
Music by Jared Chambers

My Grandpa thinks he's sane
He thinks that his dog talks
They go on long walks
He has totally lost it

My Grandpa runs a little store
He doesn't ever clean the floor
The little people would eat him
Because they want what's inside him

He's so old
He grows mold
I'm scared of him
But he doesn't care about me

He thinks the maid is his bitch
He has her scratch his itch
No one pays attention to him
Because he is senile grandpa

10. Shit-ass Car
Music by Jared Chambers

Runs about once a week
It really smells like ass
I want a new car
That will drive far

I push it down the hill
Just to get it started
And when that doesn't work
I have to jump it

I really hate my shit-ass car
It doesn't really go that far
Not even to the bar
I just want a new car

I should just ride the bus
And not even put up a fuss
Because my car just makes me cuss
I think I'll just ride the bus

11. This Class Sucks
Music by Jared Chambers

All day I dread this class
Because all I really do is sit on my ass
The teacher decides to take his role
I think he just smoked a bowl

How funny would that be
But oh ya this class sucks
It's pretty much full of fucks
All I want to do is go home

He lectures us on a bunch of crap
All he does all period is moves his flap
When will he finally stop
Never because this class sucks

14. Mom
Music by Jared Chambers

You suck mom
I can't stand you
You suck mom
Can I have 5 bucks

15. Not a Whore Anymore
Music by Jared Chambers

Your mom is such a whore
But I don't fuck her anymore
And she lives right next store
It's because she isn't a whore anymore

19. Who Doesn't Like Porn?
Music by Jared Chambers

20. Dad
Music by Jared Chambers

You suck Dad
I can't stand you
You suck Dad
Can I have the car



Buy Happy Ways to Hate whenever it comes out damnit!